


Settle Into Myself

by theartisticfoxx



Series: Non-Binary Connor! [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: (almost a parent-child relationship), (but not quite), (slight) - Freeform, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Hank Anderson & Connor Friendship, Nonbinary Character, Self-Hatred, changing pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26670922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theartisticfoxx/pseuds/theartisticfoxx
Summary: gen·der dys·pho·ri·a (noun)The condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be [different] to one's biological sex.or:Connor experiences some form of gender dysphoria.
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor
Series: Non-Binary Connor! [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939372
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Settle Into Myself

**Author's Note:**

> TW: this fic deals with the topic of gender dysphoria and slight self-hatred! it doesn't go into much detail about either of those, but i just wanted to get that out of the way!  
> Connor's pronouns change between they/them and he/him!

Connor felt _awful_. He didn’t even know why, but he just felt absolutely awful. It wasn’t a system error, and it wasn’t anything physical that was bothering him, so he didn’t know what to do. He just felt...wrong? In a way, he felt like he didn’t belong in his own body…

It didn’t help that he suddenly felt this way at work. Connor couldn’t really get much done due to his racing thoughts, and Hank definitely noticed the halt in Connor’s productivity.

“You doing alright, Con?” Hank looked over at his partner, who was blankly staring ahead at his work terminal.

“Yes, Lieutenant.” Connor sounded almost robotic, and he immediately got back to work. Hank was worried, of course, especially when he saw that Connor’s LED was yellow. He didn’t want to press, though.

“Alright...but you know that you can talk to me about anything, right?” Connor nodded slightly, his eyes never leaving the terminal. Hank noticed that Connor’s light switched from yellow to orange, a color that Hank hadn’t seen since the two of them had gone to Gavin and Nines’ apartment. He sighed, and got back to work as well. He had to do more work to pick up Connor’s slack, but he was far too worried about Connor to care.

~

Once Connor and Hank had gotten home, it became clear to Hank that something was definitely bothering Connor; all throughout the drive home, their LED had been a solid orange, and they were fidgeting with their coin a lot more than usual. Connor had also looked so uncomfortable, similar to how they looked before they realized that they weren’t male.

“Are you sure that everything’s okay?” Hank’s question irritated Connor, for some odd reason. Connor sighed.

“Yes. I’m _fine_.” Their words were harsh, shocking both Hank and themself. “I-I mean-”

“Bullshit. Sit down.” Hank practically pushed Connor over to the couch. They both sat down, an awkward silence falling over them. “Something’s buggin’ you.”

“No, I-” Hank glared at Connor, and they fell silent.

“You know that I care about you, right? Please, let me know what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.” Connor sighed. How were they supposed to explain their feelings if they didn’t even know what said feelings were?

“I just...I feel uncomfortable.” Connor paused while they tried to think of a better way to phrase that. “I mean, it’s almost the same discomfort I feel when I’m referred to with a masculine word, I guess? Except it’s _constantly_ there. And I feel physically uncomfortable, for some reason?” They put their head in their hands, mostly to try to hide their LED from Hank. It was surely spinning red at this point. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

There was a long pause, and Connor immediately felt anxious. Did they say something wrong? Did Hank think that they were crazy or defective? They couldn’t think straight, not when this excruciating discomfort was growing into pure hatred towards themself.

“I really wish I could help you, Con,” Hank said after a long moment of silence. “Do you know  _ why _ you feel this way? That could help you get to the root of the problem.”

“I just feel uncomfortable in my own body, if that makes sense?” Connor looked away from Hank. They didn’t want Hank to think that they were weird, though he surely thought that already.

The only sound that filled the room was the tapping of Hank’s keyboard on his phone. Connor glanced over to see that Hank was typing something. They couldn’t see what it was, though.

“Does this sound like what you’re feeling?” Hank passed his phone to Connor, even though he could have just sent it to them. Connor took the phone and started reading.

The article was titled ‘What Is Gender Dysphoria?’, which was something that Connor had never heard of. According to the article, ‘gender dysphoria involves a conflict between a person’s assigned gender and the gender with which they identify’. It goes on to say that people with gender dysphoria may feel uncomfortable with their body, and may experience distress when they think of themself as their assigned gender.

“Yeah...this is how I feel.” Connor felt a little bit better knowing that there was a word for this. Hank smiled and wrapped Connor in a tight hug. They hugged him back after putting the phone down on the coffee table. “Thank you, Hank.”

“Don’t thank me, Con. I just searched up some shit until I got a result.” Hank gave Connor a pat on the back before pulling away. “I’m just glad that I could help you out.”

They spent the rest of the evening watching old movies from when Hank was younger. Well, Hank watched the movies, while Connor cuddled with Sumo. Connor was happy, and even though they still felt uncomfortable with themself, it was a _little_ more bearable knowing that they had people that were looking out for them and that cared about them.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment / kudos if you enjoyed!!  
> twitter: @theartisticfoxx  
> article referenced: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/gender-dysphoria/what-is-gender-dysphoria


End file.
